In today’s edition of “The World’s Gone Mad,” we’re diving headfirst into the circus of global news, where the clowns are running the show and the ringmaster’s gone for a long lunch.

First up, we’ve got China and India playing the world’s most dangerous game of hide and seek. They’ve decided to kick out nearly all of each other’s journalists, because who needs transparency when you can have good old-fashioned secrecy? It’s like a global game of peekaboo, but with press passes and a side of international tension.

Meanwhile, over at the Wall Street Journal, they’re stuck in a loop, repeating “What’s News: World-Wide” like a parrot with a one-track mind. Maybe they’re hoping if they say it enough times, the meaning of life, the universe, and everything will suddenly become clear. Or maybe they just need a new headline writer.

In the “truth is stranger than fiction” department, we’ve got drone attacks on Moscow. Sounds like a rejected plot from a Michael Bay movie, but no, it’s just another day in the life of 2023.

Over in Iran, two courageous female journalists are standing trial for sparking protests. It seems the pen really is mightier than the sword, or at least scarier to some governments. Here’s to hoping truth and justice win the day, but don’t hold your breath.

In the world of finance, Wall Street is having a collective heart attack over economic and inflation worries. Money makes the world go round, and right now it’s spinning like a top on steroids. Hold onto your wallets, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

And finally, in the “we’re all doomed” category, scientists are telling us the Earth’s health is failing in seven out of eight key measures. But hey, at least we’re not failing in all eight, right? Always look on the bright side, folks.

That’s all for today’s edition of “The World’s Gone Mad.” Remember, it’s all just a big circus, and we’re the clowns in the center ring. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s madness, and keep laughing. It’s the only sane thing to do.